Not In The Mood
by Chuui
Summary: Riza Hawkeye was not in the mood, but that never stopped Roy Mustang from trying. Royai.
1. Not at work

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

It was a seemingly normal day at the office; everyone had gone home except for the colonel and her. She was determined to actually finish all the paperwork before the due date and Roy refused to leave her there all alone, even though it still seemed that she was doing all the work by herself. He had been staring into the same document for 20 minutes now, his mind obviously elsewhere. She finally finished forging his signature on the last document and took a second to lean back into her chair and stretch her arms; all she wanted to do was climb into her bed and sleep for the rest of eternity.

It was when she had her arms way up in the air she felt his eyes on her like a wild animal eyeing their prey. She carefully lowered her arms refusing to meet his glare, she knew those eyes. Those were his bedroom eyes.

"Lieutenant, are you all finished for the night?" His eyes scanned over her completed pile of work.

"Yes sir, just heading home now."

She wanted to dart for her coat as fast and she could but she needed to act normal. As she got up he got up as well. She walked over to her coat; he walked over to the office door and locked it.

"Sir, I can't leave if you lock the door."

"That's because I don't want you to leave, lieutenant." Great, not this again, she thought to herself.

"With all due respect sir, it's getting late and I have no idea what you're talking about, so if you'd excuse me..." She knew that wasn't going to stop him but it was worth a try. Before she could open her mouth to protest anymore he grabbed her arm and pulled her into his chest, his lips on hers as he tried to take the clip out of her hair.

She simply stood awkwardly crushed against him, wide-eyed and not even making an attempt to kiss back. Finally he realized his actions were not being reciprocated and slowly eased her out of his grip.

"Sir, how many times have I told we can't do _that _in the office, it's completely unprofessional."

There it was, the puppy dog eyes, the pout, oh how she was familiar with that pout. "But Riizaaa, you know I've always wanted to do it in the office, besides it's late and there's barely anyone here, the door is locked, we are not going to get caught."

"Have you ever thought that I might be tired Roy? It's because of your expertise procrastination skills that we're stuck here until the wee hours of the night, I haven't had a day off in 6 months, would it be completely unrealistic for me to want to go home and sleep so I can actually be here on time for work tomorrow? Not like you would know anything about that."

"I'll let you be on top, I know how much you like that."

"Good night Roy." She walked to the door; she decided it was best to leave now, before she gave into those damn puppy dog eyes of his.

"Wait, at least let me walk you home!"

"Oh, you're not leaving yet Roy, you still haven't read through that document on your desk that seemed to be real intriguing for the past half an hour. What were you thinking about you couldn't even sign one document?"

"Well it involved my desk, your gun, those handcuffs I know you keep in your bottom left drawer..."

She left the office making sure the door closed with a satisfying slam.


	2. Not this call again

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

Sometimes she didn't appreciate her sniper instincts that made her such a light sleeper.

It was about three in the morning when her phone started ringing. She made sure to always answer her phone; you never know what kind of danger anyone could be tangled up in at any time. Tonight she was feeling extra sleepy but she dragged her feet across the floor to the phone despite her eyes barely opening. This better be something worthwhile, she thought to herself.

"Helloooo Elizabeth!" The voice on the other side announced in sing-song. She inwardly groaned and almost slammed the phone right back down on the receiver right at that moment.

"Colonel, what do you want?" It sure as hell didn't sound important but she decided to make sure he wasn't drunk enough to pass out in the phone booth again.

"Ahh, Elizabeth you sound so glum! I actually had something really important to ask you." She could clearly hear him slur his words this time; he definitely had been drinking a lot if it was already at this stage. He could usually keep from slurring even after a few drinks.

"Sir, if you can't remember where your house is again I'd be happy to come help you locate it." She was nowhere near happy but this had become such a common occurrence she decided it was part of her duty as his aide.

"On the contrary pretty lady, I'm actually sitting at home right now." This was new, if he was already at home why did he feel the need to call her?

"Ok sir, what was so important that you had to call and ask me at three in the morning?" She almost started to worry at this point, he didn't sound like he had anything important to tell her but she could never be sure.

"What are you wearing?"

Great, just great, he was in one of _those _moods. All she had on her mind at that moment was going back to bed but she was sure if she hung up right there and then he was going to continue to call her all night until the alcohol got the better of him and he passed out.

"My pyjamas." She deadpanned.

"What are you wearing underneath your pyjamas?" She swore she could see the smirk on his face through the phone.

"I'm wearing underwear sir, as most people do."

"What kind of underwear?"

"Sir these questions are highly inappropriate and I would like to go back to bed, if you don't mind..."

"Wait! Elizabeth, don't you want to know what I'm wearing?"

"No I don—"

"Okay good, because I'm actually not wearing anything!" She silently cursed her mind for trying to picture him naked on the other side, she was lucky he couldn't see the pink on her cheeks over the phone.

"Roy, I think it's about time you went to bed."

"Aww, but Elizabeth, I was just starting to have some fun_, _if you know what I mean."

"Roy. Bed. Now."

"Don't you want to know what kind of fun I'm having?"

"_Roy._"

"Alright alright, you're no fun Elizabeth!" She was glad he was a reasonably obedient drunk.

"Good night."

"Can I call you again tomorrow night?"

"No."

"Please?"

She slammed the phone down so hard it made her look like a hypocrite for every time she yelled at the colonel for doing the exact same thing.


	3. Not in a hospital

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

She didn't quite realize how injured she was.

Her neck had been slit, so that's where the epicenter of pain was but it wasn't until she was lying in her hospital bed all bandaged up that all of her minor injuries started to ache. Everything felt sore, especially her lower back, it hurt just to move to a sitting position. The painkillers really weren't doing their job. She had suffered a handful of injuries in her lifetime but this had to be the worst of it. She would probably be lying in bed for at least another couple of weeks.

She glanced to her side. Roy was still lying there even though his injuries had not been as bad as hers. He was healing relatively quickly, he still had trouble moving his fingers and of course there was the fact that he couldn't see but she was still glad that he was alive and well. He agreed to let his sight be healed with the Philosopher's stone as soon as Havoc got here, but that wouldn't be for another day or so.

She shifted awkwardly in bed; there was no position that seemed to cause her no pain at all. She had barely slept for the past week and it was finally starting to get to her. She heard Roy shift in his own bed.

"Lieutenant, are you awake?"

She hadn't adjusted herself quietly enough. "Yes sir."

"Ah, I'm having trouble sleeping as well."

Silence filled the room until she heard the loud squeak from Roy's bed and tilted her eyes to the side far enough to see his figure standing up.

"Sir, you really shouldn't be getting up."

"Nonsense, I'm feeling in almost tip-top shape right now and—augh!" There was a crash followed by unintelligible curses being muttered from Roy's mouth.

"Who put that... thing there?!" he barked.

"Sir that was a stool and it's been there since we got here." He had been surprisingly good at sensing his surroundings thus far, somehow managing to know where she was at all times, even if she hadn't said anything. There was even one occasion in which he put his hand on hers and she didn't know how he knew where she placed it. Stools however, seemed to be more of a mystery to him.

After he finally stopped clutching his knee and the muttering subsided he continued, more cautiously this time, towards Hawkeye's bed.

He felt around on the surface before deciding it was safe to sit. "How are you feeling Hawkeye?"

"Could be better, sir." She decided to tilt her neck up to get a better look at his face, trying to ignore the apparent twinge in her neck as she did so.

He mindlessly started drawing tiny circles on her kneecap with his finger. "You know, I actually requested we stay in the same room and bed, there were so many soldiers coming in with worse injuries and I was worried that there would be a shortage... I guess they decided that we needed two beds instead. At least we got to share a room."

"I believe our current situation is for the best." Did he really request that? I hope the nurses didn't interpret that in the wrong way, this man really didn't use his brain sometimes. She cringed at the thought of sharing a bed with Mustang, his limbs casually colliding with hers in the middle of the night, causing her unwarranted pain.

"Well, since the nurse's aren't here, maybe I could just lie here, for a bit, perhaps I could help you... relax."

She hoped he could feel her glaring into his blank eyes. She tried to think of something to say to stop him but she couldn't think of anything before she felt him trying to lie down beside her. His fingers trailed up and down her body and tried to place a soft kiss against her cheek. He missed entirely and his lips ended up grazing the heavy gauze wrapped around her neck. She involuntarily took a sharp breath and he pulled away almost instantly.

"Are you okay?"

"Sir that was my neck, I happen to be injured there."

"Sorry, I thought... I mean I know-"

"I think it would be best if you slept in your own bed."

The expression on his face was a mixture of disappointment and grief that made her heart churn just a bit.

"Wait Riza, I promise I won't hurt you again, I have an idea!"

She almost thought she saw his eyes light up as he said this, and it made her feel uneasy right to her core, she was afraid to ask. "What's your idea sir?"

He quirked an eyebrow, "How about I make you feel so much pleasure that you forget about the pain?"

The expression on her face resembled one she gave the Elric's one time when they asked her how old she was. He obviously couldn't see her and he just stared at her with that stupid shit-eating grin on his face.

"Huh Riza, what do you say?" At this he felt around and tried to latch his hand around her chest, but not all of his fingers were bending the way he wanted them to and she could see his eyebrow furrow in frustration.

She obviously had to be clearer about her answer so she responded to his actions with a firm kick to the shin. Her body would probably be complaining in the morning but at this point she decided her venting took precedence.

"Ow, Riza! What the hell was that for?!"

She replied to that with another blow to his shin. Funny, it almost felt therapeutic. She decided that her painkillers were finally kicking in and making her mildly loopy, but she didn't care. She'd rather be a part-time sadist than let Roy have his way with her and possibly damage something permanently in the process.

"Okay Riza I get it, I'm going back to my bed!" He scrambled to his feet before she was able to get in another blow.

She hadn't even settled herself back in when she heard a familiar crash and curses flying freely from Roy's mouth.

_"Who put this stool here?!"_


	4. Not on the table

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

Riza sat on a wooden chair in her kitchen. Roy sat on the floor next to her. Riza was not upset, nor angry. She was way beyond either of those emotions, she was enraged.

She kept her cool though, she was never one to lash out with emotion. She found that her calm anger almost seemed to scare people more. You could tell simply by the quiet tone of her voice that she was angered beyond belief.

"Roy, what did I tell you about the table?"

Roy audibly gulped from his spot on the floor next to her. He was one of the only ones who were not particularly afraid of angering her, heck he usually found it as a reason to tease her and rile her up even more. He knew by the tone of her voice just how angry she was, and the tone she was using with him right now meant that it was best for him to stay on her good side and possibly not get his skull pumped full of lead.

"That it couldn't handle the weight of both of us on top of it?"

Riza shifted uncomfortably in the chair. She eyed her kitchen table collapsed in front of them.

"And what did you do anyway, _Roy_?"

He would usually be happy to hear her call him by his first name, but the way she kept saying it made him feel like he was six again, being scolded by his mother.

"I got onto the table anyways?"

Roy didn't mean to ignore her warning. Simply leaning over the table hadn't been doing it for him so he had started to climb on top so he could straddle her correctly. He thought he heard her murmur something. He wasn't sure if the lust had clogged up his ears, but he was kind of lost in the moment when he heard a loud _crack!_

"Are you asking me a question Roy?"

She had told Roy; do not get on the table. Did he listen? No. Just as she thought, the table had collapsed right underneath them which caused her to plummet into the ground. The excruciating pain she felt in that moment could not be put into words. She had just been admitted from the hospital two weeks ago and doctor had told her that she should still be resting for another month. Of course, she was planning to do just as the doctor ordered as she had to be in fit condition to travel to Ishval to start the restoration efforts. Roy also decided to take a bit of a holiday for a month as he decided there was no point in getting started without her, besides he had been so happy after he got his vision back he told her that he never wanted to let her out of his sights again. So that's how he ended up staying at her apartment. The military was still trying to recover and rebuild from the Promised Day as well, so many happenings were being overlooked and nobody questioned the fact of them temporarily living together was for any other purpose other than to make sure her recovery goes smoothly. Roy however, was not a man who could easily keep his hands to himself, especially in the current situation where it had literally been weeks since he's seen her and months since he touched her. She had given him one golden rule as to this aspect, _be careful._

"Aw please Riza don't be upset, I can fix your table with alchemy in a snap! Actually a clap... you get what I mean."

The table hadn't looked _that _flimsy. He could barely recall questioning the integrity of the table but he was sure it must've crossed his mind for a split second. They had just finished dinner and he was helping her wash the dishes. She had that apron on, damn that apron. Whenever she wore it all he could imagine what she would've looked like wearing nothing _but_ that apron. He couldn't evacuate those thoughts from his mind quickly enough before he had her pressed up against the edge of the table in a passionate kiss. One thing lead to another and clothes flew in every which way and she was sitting on the edge of the table. Honestly, he hadn't even thought of doing _that _in the kitchen before and he thought it was a nice change from the bedroom. Riza had been very confused until he started taking her clothes off and she decided to just go along with it as well. He had been very compliant with the golden rule thus far, but today he just happened to take it a bit too far...

"Is that so Roy? I suppose you'll be able to heal my aching body parts with your alchemy too? Is that right?"

Riza had landed with a thud her back slamming against the hard table now knocked of all four legs. This would have been enough pain to deal with, but then there was Roy on top of her. He landed on top of her, his huge mass crushing her completely under his weight combined with the force from the fall. She had all the wind knocked out of her and she thought she saw stars. She finally was able to get a hold of herself and manage to shove Roy off of her. That's when she tried to get up but failed miserably and she laid back down, her back in searing pain. At this point Roy had come back down from the ecstasy cloud he was drifting on and lifted her onto the chair before seating himself down on the floor next to her.

"Listen I'm sorry Riza, I got carried away, I'm an idiot. We just need to take another little trip back to the doctor..." All Roy was hoping for at this point was to escape with is life.

"And what am I going to tell the doctor? Oh, I know you told me to take it easy for a month but I really couldn't stop myself from having sex with my superior officer on my kitchen table and ended up crushing every bone in my body?"

Roy almost blushed at her blatant comment, "I'm sure you'll recover Riza, you've been through much worse than this, besides, and he'll probably give you even more vacation time!"

"Roy, if I do get any more vacation time I can assure you that you are not getting any of this, _ever._"

If there was one thing that Roy Mustang was sure of in that moment, it was that he was never having sex in the kitchen ever again.


	5. Not This Year

**A/N: This is actually a sequel to another work of mine called 'Anniversary'. You don't have to read it to understand this but a bunch of people wanted to know what happened next, so here you go!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

* * *

It was that time of year again.

All of Mustang's subordinates watched in awe as he dutifully did his paperwork. Not a single complaint, not a single break, just his pen working away at the papers for the past four hours. Usually by this time of the day he would be doing anything but his paperwork. It never ceased to amaze them every year. It had become a bit of a tradition. That one day in mid-August that Roy Mustang actually did his paperwork without complaint, the very next day slipping back into his old routines.

There had been long discussions amongst the gang, theorizing on this yearly phenomenon and what was so special about this specific day. Falman had suggested that perhaps he had a special meeting to attend on this day every year so he needed to finish everything as early as possible so he could leave, but that idea was shot down due to the fact that he seemed to spend the same amount of time if not longer on this day doing his paperwork. Fuery thought he wanted to show Hawkeye that he had the potential to work hard but simply chose not to, but they all agreed that would probably make her angrier rather than more compassionate. Breda contributed the idea that his body was taken over by an outside force that actually liked to do paperwork; this was rejected immediately for obvious reasons. Havoc, with no ideas of his own suggested that perhaps they should ask Hawkeye, she never seemed confused by his actions every year. She always seemed rather happy, well the colonel was actually was actually doing his work, of course she would be happy on these days, but there was something else...

"Hawkeye?" Havoc walked over to her.

"Yes lieutenant?" She didn't even glance up from the paper she was reading.

"Did you ever notice that on this day every year the boss actually does his paperwork, don't you find that unusual?"

"Why should I find it unusual if he's doing what he's supposed to be doing?"

"Oh come on, you know he is always procrastinating. Something has got to be up."

That's when he saw it, the faintest hint of a smirk crawl onto her face. He almost thought he had imagined it, as it disappeared almost as quickly as it appeared. She knew something, he was sure of it.

"I'd suggest you just be happy he's actually being productive and let it go Havoc."

* * *

Roy stared at the papers in front of him, examining each one as if they contained all the secrets of the universe and he didn't want to miss a single detail. It was that time of year again, the anniversary of when he and Riza first met.

He was almost certain she was joking when she told him that she sneaked an invitation for casual sex into his paperwork on this day each year, he just never found it. There was absolutely no way she would do that, or so he thought. A year passed and that fateful day came around and he was curious, extremely curious. For the first time in his entire military career he sat down and did all his paperwork, from start to finish.

He found nothing.

Now he could rest in peace, it was just a joke, Hawkeye would never actually do that, it was stupid to even think that she would! That was until the very next day, she spoke to him as he was leaving the office.

"I see you did all your paperwork yesterday, sir."

"Yeah, I guess I was feeling rather motivated yesterday."

"So, you didn't find my note then."

"No I—wait what, your note?"

"If you took the first word on each page you signed me message would have been clear. I guess you didn't look hard enough sir." With this she left him standing there, in shock, as she casually walked out the door.

After a few moments he caught himself, and ran at full speed down to the collections office to see if he could get his paperwork back. He had to know, was she bluffing again or did she really...

After a word with the rather unimpressed lady in the office preparing to leave herself, he got a hold of the documents and laid them out in front of him, examining the places she mentioned.

_Please. Come. By. My. Place. Immediately._

Unbelievable.

* * *

The next year, he knew what to do. He did all his paperwork, lined up the pages and considered the words.

_Excuse. Attention. The. Damages. If._

What? This wasn't right. Where was the secret message? These were the first words... there was supposed to...

The answer came to him the next day, in a very similar situation; he and Hawkeye were leaving for the night as she spoke to him.

"I guess you didn't find my note this year either."

"I didn't see any note this year, I don't understand..."

"Sir, I can't put it in the same place every year. This time, you should've checked the unsigned pages." With that, her stroll out of the office mocked him as he pondered what an idiot he was. Of course she wouldn't hide it in the same place every year. This was a challenge.

A challenge he was willing to accept.

* * *

It became a yearly event from that point on, every year Riza would think of some place clever to hide a note and Roy would always try his best to find it. He had never been successful, bested by her wits year after year. He argued that some of them were completely unfair, such as the year she stuck a sticky note on the underside of his desk. He argued that it wasn't even incorporated into his paperwork, and why would he even have a reason to look under his desk. She simply mentioned that this game had no rules and that was probably one of the easiest to find hiding spots she had used in years.

There was also a year where she used words from the bottom and tops of pages alternating, which Roy told her it was now getting completely ridiculous and that there was no way he would ever figure out something as intricate as that. She simply asked him if that was the case, she should just stop with the notes altogether. This made him drop that line of questioning very quickly.

He was determined this year, he told himself _this was the year, _and he was going to find it.

It was now after 11PM and everyone had left the office but him. He was still slaving over the papers before him. He had checked every combination of words he could think of and did a thorough search of the entire room and everything in it and he had come up with nothing. Looks like this year wasn't his year either, disappointed he went to go leave his papers in the collection box outside the office so they would get it in the morning when the secretary came in. As he was about to hand them in he noticed a piece of paper stuck to the bottom of his office's box. It was a note, it was _the note._

_Sir, I hope you haven't been looking at those papers all night. Perhaps you should drop by my place so I can help you relax after all that hard work._

_Damn it _was the first thought that crossed his mind. This was by far the easiest note location she had ever used, considering he actually found it. This either meant that she felt sorry for him or that she really wanted him to come over tonight, and all he had to do was hand in his paperwork!

That's when he started to worry; he had to get there before midnight for it to still be considered their anniversary. He checked his pocket watch, 11:30. He had time, he could make it if he drove but it was going to be close.

He was lucky it was so late at night because he was driving so recklessly that he honestly feared for anyone driving or walking on the same road. Ten minutes to midnight, he was going to make it.

Five minutes left, he pulls up at her front door.

Four minutes left, he's getting in the elevator.

Three minutes left, turn out the elevator is broken so boots it up the stairs.

Two minutes left, half way up the stairs he misses and step and falls flat on his face, cursing so loudly he probably woke up half the people on the floor.

One minute left and he's half limping up the rest of the stairs.

Midnight.

"Hawkeye! Hawkeye it's me! Open up!" He was out of breath and banging on her door, and his leg was still in pain.

Riza opened her door in her pyjamas, a cup of hot cocoa in her hand, looking as if she hadn't a care in the world.

"Sir, are you alright?" He could hear the slight edge of mischief in her voice.

"I... found... your... note..." This was all he could say, he hadn't really thought about what he would do when he got there and he wished he did.

"Ah. Looks like you did." She nonchalantly took a sip of her cocoa.

"So... can I come in?"

"It was a minute past midnight when you got here, thus making my offer null and void." She deadpanned.

"W-what, but Hawkeye-"

She retreated back into her home and right before she closed to the door she simply said,

"Sorry sir, maybe next year."


End file.
